An Antidote to Loneliness

Hello again, blogosphere!  I’ve been on an unplanned hiatus since September due to an overwhelming amount of work.  During my break, I did design work on a webseries, two films, and an infomercial.!  I stayed really busy and got to work with old friends, as well as meet a ton of new people.  And yes, some of those people are eligible bachelors 😉

Some people wonder why I’m not more depressed about my single status, especially around this overly-commercialized/nauseatingly sentimental holiday known as Valentines Day.  Trust me, I do have my occasional wallow-in-self-pity cry fests, especially during hormone insanity week, but for the most part, I am secure with my singleness because I have a life!   Yesterday, for my exciting Valentines Day, I started my latest job at a design studio and then watched The Daily Show while working out.  And it was great!  Would I have liked to have gone on a romantic date with a nice guy?  Of course!  But since that wasn’t an option, I did the next best thing and stayed busy doing what I love.

I was also encouraged this past weekend when my pastor mentioned that singleness can be a blessing from God because there are things that you can do and ways that you can serve Him when you’re single that you can’t once you’re married.  When I was younger, I used to freak out whenever anyone talked about “God’s gift of singleness” because it was terrifying to me that I could be cursed with such a horrible “gift” and there would be nothing I could do about it.  It was especially scary for me because so many people were convinced that no man could ever be attracted to me (due to my disfiguring medical condition), and warned me of this eternal loneliness, thinking that they were “protecting” me from wanting something I could never have.  Fortunately, I’ve learned that 1) my nay-sayers were idiots, and 2) singleness is not a curse, nor is it always permanent.

I’ll probably address discovery #1 in a future rage-filled post (yay!), but let’s talk about #2.  We shouldn’t think of the “gifts” of singleness or coupledness (is that a word?) as permanent labels.  Sure, there are some people who are single for their entire lives, but most people will experience both before they die.  If God’s put a desire in our hearts to get married someday, there’s a good chance that we will one day say “I do.”  That doesn’t mean He’ll drop a significant other out of the sky right now though.  If we’re still single, it’s probably because He’s got things for us to do before a relationship takes over our lives.  For example, we can have crazy work schedules and pursue our careers with reckless abandon.  We can freely socialize/flirt/do whatever with other single people without worrying about upsetting jealous or suspicious partners.  We can spontaneously go places and do random things without anyone’s permission.   Being single is not some terrible curse of loneliness, it’s a blessing of independence while you wait for the blessing of companionship.  Jesus was single at a time when people found their whole identity in marriage and family.  People surely thought he was crazy because it was a radical concept that someone could find their identity outside of that.  However, this is something that our current culture has been accepting and we should too!

So, long story short, there are many reasons to enjoy our singleness while we have it, and one of them is the freedom to be busy and productive with our passions.  I still hope that one day I will meet the right guy, but until then, I have plenty to keep me busy and thankful for my independence!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine’s Day yesterday! 🙂


4 responses

  1. hahahaha!! i love the picture hahaha…great post :_)

    February 16, 2012 at 12:16 am

  2. Yes! Great to have you back!

    I completely agree with this! I definitely have had my own (often hormonal) moments when loneliness is overwhelming but for the most part I have sincerely enjoyed my singleness. And I know beyond a doubt that this time has been so valuable for me to learn things about myself that will one day make me a better friend and spouse!

    February 16, 2012 at 6:35 am

  3. Missed you bunches, SuperVirgin! You’re the best, and totally spot on here! Having a life is the antidote to loneliness, and your observations were completely on target! My Bible study gal once said that the traditional ‘dating’ scene prepares us better for divorce than marriage, and isn’t that the truth! “Go out with guy, like guy, fall in love with guy, break up with guy” YEESH! How much better to have a life, see some guy (s) invite them along for the ride on our great lives, and see what happens!
    God has seen fit to put so many great guys in my life since you posted last, not a one would I marry, but such great companions, every one.
    Tell us how we can see what you’ve been working on?

    Much love,


    February 16, 2012 at 8:54 am

  4. You are not the first or only person to grow up in a more isolating environment, nor are you the only super virgin on the planet. What’s sad is that some of us have to be reminded we’re not alone, and sometimes you have to take to the internet to be reminded. You are to be commended for your decisions, and perhaps owe a debt of gratitude to your heavenly Father for the upbringing which kept you from falling into the pit which holds so many of your friends.

    I am a 20-something super-virgin as well, still seeking someone that retains the standards you possess.

    Well-done. Cling to and cherish your gift(s), and remember that you are worth more than the misdeeds of the huddled masses.

    Also, if you desire encouragement in your path, you may find the letters of my page helpful.

    March 10, 2012 at 9:32 am

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