Sluts Are People Too

slut · noun \’slət\ · a promiscuous woman

Slutty girls used to make me really mad.  They were hot, they knew it, and all they had to do was flash a little cleavage and they got whatever they wanted.  They made me look ugly and prudish by comparison, and I feared that no man would want to “settle” for me when they were constantly seeing their scantily clad fantasies walk by.  I was jealous and wished I could look like them, yet I loathed their unfair superficial ways on principle.

All of this changed when I became friends with a few of these girls and saw what being a slut really entailed.  I realized that my jealousy and resentment were stupidly pointless and unfounded.  Maybe they got whatever they wanted in an immediate sense, but it came with a huge price – human respect.  Sluts might get what they want in a short-term, physical sense, but in the process, they are dehumanized and hardly anyone truly respects them.

• Women don’t respect sluts because they are jealous and/or fear that they will steal their boyfriends away.  They also fear that the presence of slutty women gives men impossible high expectations for how women should look and perform sexually.  Don’t be jealous that most women (including other sluts) hate sluts.
• Men don’t respect sluts because they don’t have to respect them in order to get what they want.  They see them more as toys instead of people.  They have no idea that the girl they slept with one night and then never called again is now crying over a tub of ice cream, wondering why she wasn’t good enough; it doesn’t enter their mind because toys don’t have feelings.  Don’t be jealous that emotionally immature and selfish men use and abuse sluts.
• Sluts don’t respect themselves.  They give themselves away because they don’t realize that they’re worth so much more.  And with women hating them and men using them, why would think highly of themselves?  They stake so much of their value on how they look that a pimple or cowlick can crush their self-esteem into a million tiny pieces.  Don’t be jealous of fragile self-esteem and self-loathing.

I know, I know, this isn’t always the case.  Before you accuse me of generalizing, let me confess that one of my friends is a self-proclaimed “slut” who can sleep around without falling apart.  She is incredibly self-assured, independent, and able to be emotionally detached in her sexual relationships.  Not all sluts are suffer equally, some girls can successfully pull off the slut lifestyle.  If that’s you, congratulations –slut away!  Based on a rudimentary survey of my social circle, however, self-respecting sluts are incredibly rare.  In fact, my aforementioned friend is the only woman I’ve met who can live like that.  All my other slutty friends are insecure wrecks.

I always wonder why they choose to do this to themselves.  I watch my friends cry and vent about how stupid boys are and wonder why they don’t just say “no” when boys ask them to go home with them.  A lot of times, they believe this is just how relationships are supposed to be, especially when they see the same thing happening all around them to their fellow sluts and all the magazines talk about it as if it’s totally normal.  For many of them, it’s repeated naïveté: they genuinely mistake male lust for love, so when they get dumped, their response is to try to make themselves hotter in hopes that it will prevent it from happening again.  Their self-worth and value hinge on their ability to constantly attract men.

But, you might ask, isn’t it their fault that they are slutty?  Aren’t they responsible for forfeiting their own right to respect?  Yes, in some ways they are.  But in other ways, they’re victims of their culture, and they’re paying a hefty price for it.  The idea that looks are of utmost importance is such an obvious lie to me because I grew up being told I was ugly and had to get my self-worth from other sources, but it’s not necessarily obvious to girls who grew up constantly being told how pretty they are, with that as their main value. Hollywood tells us that women are worthless if they’re not hot, and the hotness barometer is popular male opinion.  These girls desire to be affirmed by male opinion more than they desire respect.  It’s no wonder that these girls can’t see a way out.  This certainly doesn’t warrant jealousy.

So, no matter how much you want to strangle the next hot blonde with giant boobs who snags your crush (girls) or tap that thang with no strings attached (boys), remember that sluts are people too and should be treated accordingly.